After a long ‘lull’ – I am back (hoping the interaction to be more regular than erratic) – lots has happened over the last one year but it has all been for good J As a technologically challenged homosapien, here is my first attempt to integrate my e-mail with the blog. So here we go….

READ ONLY WHEN YOU HAVE SOME TIME………

God: Hello... Did you call me?

Me: Called you? No.. who is this?

God: This is GOD.I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.

Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something..

God: What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.

Me: Don't know. But I cant find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.

God: Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results.

Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.

Me: I understand. But I still cant figure it out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.

God: Well I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.

Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?

God: Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.

Me: why are we then constantly unhappy?

God: Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday.You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.

Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?

God: Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional..

Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty. .

God: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?

God: Diamond cannot be polished without friction.Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life becomes better not bitter.

Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?

God: Yes. In every terms, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.

Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can't we be free from problems?

God: Problemsare PurposefulRoadblocksOfferingBeneficialLessons (to) EnhanceMentalStrength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.

Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading..

God: If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken.Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.

Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?

God: Successis a measure as decided by others. Satisfactionis a measure as decided by you.Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.

Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?

God: Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go.Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.

Me: What surprises you about people?

God: when they suffer they ask, "why me?" When they prosper, they never ask "Why me". Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.

Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I can't get the answer.

God: Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.

Me: How can I get the best out of life?

God: Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.

Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.

God: There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.

Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat. I am so happy to start the New Day with a new sense of inspiration.

God: Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve, not a problem to resolve..

Life ends when you stop Trusting,

Hope ends when you stop Believing,

Love ends when you stop Caring.

So TRUST, BELIEVE and CARE....Life becomes Beautiful........

Managing Crisis…..

While the ‘pundits’ and ‘experts’ are searching for the best answer to combat the dynamic and changing (actually, already changed!) economic times, let me make an honest attempt to give my point of view/s on what are the critical elements that a leader needs to include in his ‘Strategic Plan’ take in these times of ‘Economic Uncertainties’.

The more I read, the more I get affirmed on my chain of thought. Be it McKinsey, Booz-Allen or other ‘well-known’ Management Consulting outfits, across articles one common thread that I have been able to pick is – ‘Cash Conservation Strategy’. The more I hear experts on TV, the more I get affirmed on my chain of thought. I believe that all the ‘Cash Conservation Strategies’ are actually - ‘Tactical in nature’ that can at best support survival (Wait, no need to shake your head in disbelief as yet J please continue reading!)

Lets look at the symptoms - Marketing Communication budgets have been slashed, Travel budgets have been cut, (since I come from Media and Entertainment) Content Acquisition budgets have been slashed, Training budgets have been slashed, Increments been put on hold and so on and so forth. Pick up the phone and talk to your friend, and he/she will have more ‘uncomfortable’ stories to share with you on how companies are trying to save as much ‘cash/liquidity’ as possible.

There is nothing wrong with these measures (or may be there is!). But then these are ofcourse , but ‘tactical’ measures of survival. Pardon me with my analogy, but it’s like trying to save an accident patient. The first thing to do is to stop the blood flow. Organizations have realized that they are bleeding, and mind you, its not only because of the Recessionary times, but also because of the ‘inefficiencies’ that have crept in over a period of time, being exposed now, thanks to Recession. When things are hunky-dory, many a decisions skip the watchful eyes of either the ‘Board’ or the ‘Senior Management’, but when things go wrong, the proverbial – ‘Heads start rolling and blood starts spilling’ comes to light and everything goes through the ‘scanner’ (Just finished watching a Terentino movie, and hence the reference to ‘Blood’, please bear with me J)

So lets talk about these strategies or the ‘Blood-stopping’ measures. The only challenge I face with these strategies is that they are all ‘survival’ strategies. I am surprised why no one is talking about ‘Growth’ (wait, not the time to laugh right now!). Seriously, are we ‘Management experts’ either diffident or unsure about the revival of the World Economy? Or, are we saying that lets just ‘survive’ for the time being, we will talk about ‘Growth’ when times are right…much like ‘crossing the bridge when we get there’?

I believe the companies to come out of recession and get on the growth path will be the ones which still are eyeing ‘Growth’ (be it Organic or In-organic). Companies which are like Spartans, training their footsoldiers (read: Understanding employees engagement and training them), boosting their Artillery (Read: Product Innovation) and mapping their Warlands (read: Reading Customer / Mapping Market), will be the ones that will emerge victorious.

Imagine, over the last two quarters, most of the companies have done nothing but instilled fear in their employees (layoffs / paycuts etc) and shattered confidence amongst customers (no new launches, no aggressive marketing, no image building etc).

As things start taking turn (again, and for better), don’t leaders want to hit the ground running?

And it is here that I see the ‘Cash Conservation Strategy’ failing to imbibe the ‘tomorrow’ of the Business World. All the steps that are being promoted through the management literature are failing to prepare the executives and the leaders to charge and take the leap of faith when things turn positive again.

So keeping the aforementioned discussion in mind, here is what my ‘Strategic Bible’ would look like:

a) Customer Mindspace – In these times, customers are like ‘stimulus junkies’. They will switch at the drop of a hat. Make them feel comfortable with their brand choice (which is your brand). Build and cement the ‘connect’ with them. Study their ‘engagement levers’ and manage them with all force. The choice drivers and rationalizations change, read them, study them and offer as per the revised choice drivers. When marketing budgets are being slashed, wouldn’t you want your customers to spread ‘Great’ (not just positive) word of mouth about you?
b) Renewed emphasis on ‘Employee training’. Remembering, that the employees are the only ‘real asset’ with the company. It’s critical to identify the ‘Iacoccas’ and the ‘Welshes’ in your system. It’s important to do a thermometer reading of ‘Employee morale and engagement with the company’. A famous adage goes – ‘to cut a tree well in five hours, sharpen your axe for four hours’. Thus, training the employees becomes equally important as understanding their levels and levers of attachment. The training needs to be for both motivational aspects and skill-sets – Regular measurement and Management both would be extremely critical
c) Continued thrust on innovation / product development / experience development. Gone are those days when products use to ‘extinct’, now it’s the experiences. We are talking about ‘Experience Extinction’ now, and therefore there is a need to re-create newer experiences
d) Lean approach to Cost-Optimization – Inter-departmental shuffles, re-visit job profiles, exhort multi-tasking, discourage late staying in office (calculations on savings from electricity, water, tea-coffee, are mind boggling)
e) ‘Fund your learning’ – Each employee to contribute from his salary towards training needs (promoting understanding between employee / employer, make him/her feel part of the Company and therefore an indispensable part to deal with the crisis). Thus an employee wont feel ‘hurt’ with the pay cut, and as a leader I would prepare my work-force to hit the ground hard and running!
f) Renewed thrust on Corporate Alliances – Look at innovative ways of ‘Brand Building’ and sales, in other words – Corporate Alliances. For instance – if you are a cell-phone service provider, can you look at increasing the subscriber base, not at ‘Cash value’ but by doing tie-ups with Airliners, who in turn will carry your ‘Brand Message’ and your logo on their air-crafts, for a short period of time? Similar ways of improving topline score and ‘Brand’ score

If I were to be asked to put two thumbs on the two most critical elements, I would say – ‘Rigorous emphasis on Employee Attachment understanding and training’ and ‘Thrust on understanding the customer mindscape and the market landscape’

Let me end with these statements that I read in an article – “Despite the challenging times, this year’s strategic-planning process need not be an exercise in anxiety or futility. Developing scenarios in greater depth, monitoring strategies more rigorously, and remaining focused on the long term will all help strategists boost the odds of creating plans that can lead their companies through the turbulence”.

Wish you all the very best!

It’s important at times to pause…and smell the rose…

Amidst the worst economic catastrophe (Mr Tata calls it ‘Hand of God’) :), and times which can at best be described as ‘gloomy’, things are going haywire. People being laid off is a news which is as stale as a month old cottage cheese. The focus seems to have shifted on survival, both individually and organizationally. Semantics are being redefined and innovated to describe the economic depression. Essentially these times really call for a break! A break from everyday’s monotony, a break from the uncertainty, a break from …well you get the point :)!

Jyotsana and myself did the same…I bet you, it was imperative to get our sanity back :).

But when crisis is like a looming sword over one’s head, it becomes important to merge pragmatism with desires (it’s difficult, but well, adapt or perish has always been nature’s inexorable imperative). So Jyotsana did some research and arranged for a surprise ‘gift’ for me this valentine, in form of Agri-Tourism.

While we flaunt (particularly my north-indian counterparts) and take pride in – ‘phoren holidays’, let me tell you that this 2 day weekend-getaway (starting 14th morning and culminating on 15th evening) was one of the best trips I have had in my life. We went to a place called – ‘Katewadi’ which is the hailing place of Mr. Sharad Pawar, about 150 odd kms from Pune. We were greeted with authentic Maharashtrian food which totally mesmerized our senses, hospitality which reminded us of home, abode which took us back by centuries and weather which made us forget ourselves (and I am not exaggerating)!

We saw pre-historic temple made during the Pandavas era, we made a passable attempt to row boatJ, we saw how a state-run sugar-cane factory works without coal and electricity (more on that later) and is totally self-sufficient, we saw how jaggery is made, we attempted to chew on fresh sugarcane straight out of soil :) , we saw one of the most beautiful universities in a small town called Baramati (incidentally also a flying base), and ofcourse we tasted what we had always read in books – nature and man coexisting without the imprints of industrialization.

And now let me explain to you ‘self-sufficiency’ personified. We visited Malegaon State Co-operative Sugar Factory, where raw sugar-cane was being inputted in unspeakable quantities. The aroma of freshly cut sugarcane was mesmerizing enough, the factory tour was like an icing on the cake! In terms of the process layout - the sugarcane is first chopped into little pieces and then crushed to take the juice out. The remainder is not wasted! Whatever pulp (for want of better word) is left after the juice is taken out, is gutted into huge kilns which then generate electricity for the entire factory to run! So the running cost is only maintenance, the traditional form of generating energy is not used in this factory at all.

While we were enjoying our rendezvous with nature, there were deafening roars of modern civilization calling us back from our dreamland and thus we headed back on the 15th . While we had come empty-handed, we did take back with us fond memories to cherish, moments to relive and promise to return with our friends and families…. :)

THE DAY MUMBAI STOOD STILL

What happened in Mumbai came to me in four stages: Shock, Denial, Acceptance, Anger!
There is a definite realization. Being a nuclear power doesn’t secure you. The challenges increase manifold if the enemy is invisible. I too want to participate in the total annihilation of the unseen and invisible enemy which is causing havoc across Globe. People are dying even as I write this down!

But unlike what others are doing, which is organizing rallies and lighting candles (which I think are great ideas to get people together for a common cause, but I fail to see how it can bring terrorism down).
I think the issue needs to be addressed in a different manner as well!

I will not spend time debating and justifying violence vs non-violence. All I am going to talk about today will be some measures which our army / NSG / Special Forces / BCC (Black Cat Commandos) need to take, not only to combat the invisible army, but also to set an example for everyone else in the world to see.

One of my passions is to follow the latest in arms and ammunition. So here is a list of weapons which I think ought to be part of the Indian Armed Forces. These are some of the best and most powerful weapon systems / ammunition to tackle any unforeseen contingency.

Disclaimer: If you are a firm believer in non-violence, and guns and ammunition makes you dizzy! Well, I suggest you not to go further down.

a) 50 calibre Barrett Rifle – The most effective sniper rifle available today in the world. It can hit the target from a distance of 2,400 meters. The bullet used in this gun is 50 calibre and has the ability to damage a 6-inch thick steel plate. Imagine attaching X-ray vision to this sniper rifle, with the ability to see through the walls, it can really spell doom for the terrorists!

b) M16 assault rifle – probably the most dangerous assault rifle in the world today. It has served the US army since 1961 and continues to be a fav still…Popularized by Video Games, this deadly demon has the ability to fire bullets and launch grenades at the same time. Extremely destructive…and extremely effective! In India only the special forces have access to M16 A2 (a version of M16)

c) Cornershot: An invention by an Israeli Commander to combat Guerilla warriors, this attachment (yes, it can be attached to any gun, pistol and even a bazooka!) allows the solder to look through the corner without exposing himself in the battlefield. It has an attached camera and Imagine if our commandos had this weapon attachment….

d) ESMAW – Novel Explosive rocket launcher…A fav with the US Marine Corps. It weighs a minimal 5 kgs…has an effective range of 250 mtrs and max range of 500 mtrs. Best part – it has delayed detonation, which means, the rocket will pierce through the walls of concrete to reach the hiding place of terrorists and then detonate! Beat that!

e) XM307 Air Bursting Weapon System – Capable of remote operations. It has a laser range finder, and a day/night sight. It is actually a light autocannon that delivers suppressive fire out to 2,000 meters. The weapon provides devastating firepower against visible and hidden targets such as those in foxholes, behind rocks / walls, and inside building with windows!

f) M110 Sniper Rifle: A semi-automatic sniper rifle which weighs less than 15 pounds. It has a suppresser at the nozzle which reduces the fire flash, making the shooter almost invisible. A rapid reload from the magazine. A long range thermo-optical maginifier, which allows the sniper to see through smoke, smog or fog upto 800 mtrs.

g) TASER X26 – For all the people believing in the Geneva Convention, here is a ‘less than lethal’ weapon. Absolutely fantastic for self defence in a situation wherein the forces would want to neutralize the terrorists yet capture them alive. It has an electro-stun system, which stuns the target with an electric shock and hijacks his central nervous system for some time. The product was tested on a monster of a US marine weighing 250 pounds and pumping iron that would put Arnold to shame…the marine couldn’t get up for 4 minutes flat! Imagine if our cops had the X26 at the CST station…

h) BERETTA LTLX 7000 – Once again a non-lethal weapon, which has the ability to fire targets at far range. This is a humanitarian sniper’s dream come true! The bullet is custom designed and hits the target at a speed of 211 mph (in a test where the object was kept at a distance of 50 mtrs), giving a nasty bruise but well short of killing the target! The best part: the kinetic energy mechanism in this gun allows it to deliver similar velocity at different distance. Thus when the same test was repeated on the target kept at 250 mtrs, the velocity of the bullet was 231 mph (almost similar to the one delivered above). Amazing! Isnt it?

i) XM214 MICROGUN: A SUPER CALIBRE ASSAULT RIFE WITH CUSTOM MADE CARTRIDGES – Lord of the guns made popular by the videogame called Team Fortress 2. This lethal dose of damage can fire upto 10,000 rounds per minute (remember the scene from Predator, wherein Arnie is firing a mult- barrel gun, that’s what I am talking about). The gun weighs 15 kilos and each cartridge costs about USD 200! It takes 400,000 USD to fire this weapon for 20 sec! So if there is a large group of militants and the forces want to wipe their impressions out in less than a minute…this is the answer!

j) M32 Multi Grenade Launcher – A semi automatic weapon that fires 6, 40 mm grenades in less than 3 seconds! A total mayhem causer, this launcher is your saviour when caught in the middle of a firefight. It can totally devastate any militant shelter home within seconds, not allowing any reaction time for the enemy. The best part, the overall design makes the launching of the grenade almost silent, thus providing the much needed invisibility to the armed forces while they are busy engaging the militants into a deadly assault.

k) MEI Mercury 40 MM Grenade – The Mercury grenade is the latest developed ammunition for the M32 Grenade launcher. Its designed to reach out to nearly half a mile! The shell can therefore travel a distance of 800 mtrs and still cause maximum damage. The Mercury comes in variants. The flare, which almost ignites the sky as it travels through its trajectory, making the enemy shit bricks, because it can give the illusion of being a missile! Next up, the Mercury high explosive dual purpose round, no explanation on that. The name says it all. The best part is – the overall design allows the grenade to deliver shrapnel upto 30% further.

l) DRAGON SKIN – In an armed combat, the defense is extremely important as well. One would want to be alive to use the firepower at his / her disposal. Dragon skin is the latest in the field of body armour suits. This beauty uses advanced ceramics and titanium compounds to build a shield which can protect someone from AK 47’s 7.62 mm rounds! Just so that you know, AK 47 is one of the few guns, which have the power to go through a quarter inch of steel plate like a knife goes through butter. Most of the bullet proof jackets fail against the test of 7.62 mm rounds! The funda is simple, the overlaying design of the jacket allows the impact power of the bullet to get dispersed over a larger area, and that is vitally important, because the traditional bullet proof jackets can stop the bullet from piercing through, but if shot from a nearly point blank range, the force itself could be devastating!

m) MP7A1 – We often assume our enemies to be like the villains in the Bollywood movie. Pistol trotting, not-fearing and with strength that could bring down a building! In real life, things could be a little different from our imagination! What we often hear is the militants being in the prime of their youth and seemingly innocuous and having average human strength, which therefore means, just like us if they are scared to die. Most of the time they would want to cover themselves in bullet proof vests. There are often hostage situations and the worst nightmare is to realize after shooting a guy in the chest, that he is aiming the gun at you! In these situations, the forces there need a weapon which is as compact as a sub-machine gun but can spit firepower as devastating as that of an assault rifle. Well, the answer to that situation is the MP7A1! It’s the latest in PDW or Personal Defense Weapons. The weapon is to be used in Close Quarter Combat situations. The ammunition used in this gun delivers firepower equal to an assault rifle, which can go through normal bullet proof vests (but not he Dragon Skin). So it’s a lethal combination of a gun that has little and fast recoil and ammunition that is deadly, is what makes this one of the best combat weapons against the enemy!

n) Gatecrasher – The biggest challenge in fighting against the invisible enemy is to breach their ring of shelter and deliver the blow. The gatecrasher is one of the best ammunition which can be used to end a hostage situation. It enables the security forces to make an entry point anywhere they want by delivering a carefully and precisioned blow to the walls / doors etc, at the same time not causing any other collateral damage. This device can puncture a 19 inches thick brick-wall without bringing down the house! Gatecrasher uses a water jacket to focus the explosion on a specific area transforming the power of explosion to become a precise cutting tool. At the same time this technology withholds the explosion to deliver damage on the other side of the wall, which could potentially kill the hostages.

I know of a fighter pilot who says the best of the aircrafts can’t deliver unless the pilot is equipped with the skills. I am in total agreement with what this gentleman says, and I rest the blog by mentioning the imperativeness of training our Police / Forces to use these weapons. As for the junta that believes in the weapons causing immense collateral damage, I have an advice – really do the homework before you make that comment :) because most of the times, collateral damage is caused because of the untrained weapon user and not because of the weapon itself.

I dedicate this post to all those brave souls who immolated their lives in the line of duty. May their souls rest in peace! Amen!

Extremely Interesting read! (not my creation :) courtesy: strategy-business.com)

This is a letter from a traditional management guru to one of his counterparts...read it :)

Dear Monte:
Forgive me for not getting back to you sooner.
But I’m sitting in a hotel conference room in Austin, Tex., punchy from PowerPoint, waaaay over- caffeinated, surrounded by click-monkeys in power suits (moi?) thumbing through their BlackBerrys checking e-mail.
The title of the conference, ironically enough, is “Always On: Executive Communication Strategies in the Age of Constant Connection."
And for the privilege of sponsoring all this executive insight (which I’m beginning to suspect might be better communicated by one guy wielding an over-cranked bullhorn), I’m paying $250k, which includes lunch, cocktails, and my own scintillating PowerPoint presentation this afternoon (which I may yet scrap for that bullhorn). I also get my logo on the program binder, the security-badge lanyard, the book bag, the luggage tags, the golf tees, the mouse pad, and all sorts of other totems and tchotchkes of executive overlordship.
I just love it when people haul out of these things looking like upscale NASCAR drivers.
In any event, I accidentally opened my spam folder, and for some reason that I can’t quite explain (although I’m sure my new IT kid can), I found your last e-mail nestled among the offers for Canadian drugs, replica Rolexes, satellite TV, Saddam Hussein’s gold, and 27 security warnings that my checking account had been breached from banks that I don’t do business with.
And this was before I checked my inbox again, now updated with 289 new missives, salutations, CCs, newsletters, updates, FYIs, and other minor emergencies during the past hour — not to mention 16 invitations to “join up” on LinkedIn.com.
Forgive the digression, Monte, but for the life of me, I’ve yet to see the personal value in any of these business networking sites — other than, perhaps, to know that I’m two degrees of separation from Good King Wenceslas, via our mutual “friend” Vlad the Impaler. Somehow, it all feels like digital name-dropping to me. Maybe I’m just a face-to-face guy in an “F2F” world. But for all the virtues of virtual networking, I’ve yet to notice a drop-off in the number of warm bodies at any of these conferences.
And the truth is, I’m overwhelmed by e-mail. I’m drowning in it. I wake up at 3 in the morning to check it. So I’m not surprised by the report in this morning’s New York Times about a survey finding that it’s made us all less productive.
What’s the solution, you ask? Disconnected Fridays? (Not if you want to stay in business.) Deleting everything? (Not unless you want to run afoul of the government’s new document retention laws.) No. Like it or not, I’m afraid that we really have become rhesus lab monkeys — forever clicking away on those buttons, hoping to be rewarded with a new piece of fruit.
Anyway, to answer your e-mail, sorry, but I can’t have lunch yesterday. As soon as this conference ends, I’ll call your office to reschedule.
I’ll be in touch —
The Biffster
PS: As I was typing away at this, a woman next to me looked over my shoulder and chuckled. Turns out she’s an old friend from college, currently a reporter for the Journal, interested in doing a story about you and AmSmelt. I say let’s go for it — so long as it’s face-to-face, and not by e-mail. Yr thoughts, pls.

When will the marketers understand???

Its been really bugging me now! I have been mulling over the imbecility I had to witness this morning, and every time I think about it... I feel like pulling my hair apart!

Here's the deal. My wife and myself have been wanting to join the gym and get back in 'shape'. Well to confess, my wife has been more committed to the cause than I have been.

This morning, we decided to check out the new gym which Jyotsana had discovered, searching through heaps of advertisements that come along with the main newspaper.

Let me paint a backdrop for you all before we start detailing:
a) As I had said, my wife has been more 'committed' than I have been with regards to starting this 'gymming thing' (so she was in a true sense an 'active consumer'. My exact choice of words when she mentioned about gym were - 'oh well, okay'!)
b) She is the one who searched through the newspaper and pull-outs to discover this new gym, while I was having fun playing the vicious cycle of office-home-office insulated around a 'couldnt-care-less' attitude
c) She has the buying power (enough and more of it!). She is not 'just the window shopper'
d) She is more 'loyal' in her behaviour towards brands than I have ever been in my entire life(I have got enough and more examples to showcase that)

With this backdrop, here is an account of what happened when we went to the gym this morning:
a) When we get to the gym and meet the instructor, he ignores her completely (as if she didnt exist!) and starts his gibberish aimed at educating (rather impressing) me (and I unfortuntately was anyways tuned off. I was totally disinterested and insulated around (remember... 'couldnt-care-less') attitude.)
b) The first part of the process was aimed at understanding our body types, our medical history and thus chalking out an exercise regime for 'both' of us. Here is ratio of time spent by the instructor on the first process for my wife and me. MY WIFE - 3 minutes!...hold on, the real sinker comes now..................... ME - 20 minutes! ('freakin'stein!....although she was clearly more interesting in knowing the procedure and had more 'questions' than I did)
c) After a while we were through with our first session for the day, throughout the session, while she was making an attempt to learn on her own, I got the attention of the floating coaches who would be more than willing to help me out in my workout. As always, she was relatively 'ignored' Just when we were placing ourselves in the car, I initiated the conversation asking her how she felt about the experience. The question was thrown back at me (as always:)!!) and my response was - 'disgusting'. Do you know what she said for the same question? 'I guess it was okay' (Marketers, do u read something here - "more margin for error". With everything going wrong for her, right from step 1, she was still willing to give those guys another chance!)

Bottomline: the real consumer was ignored, while the 'stereotype' ruled!

And I felt like shouting out loud and saying - 'WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR MARKETERS TO REALISE THAT WOMEN IS A HUGE UNTAPPED MARKET " (and much to my chagrin let me accept, far smarter than the male counterparts, when it comes to decision making on purchase / brands and sticking to the brands). And I will tell you why I have generalised this one experience to the entire 'women consumer community'. Let me present my case with facts:
a) Between 1970 to 1998 Men's median income has increased by 0.6%. The same for women has grown by ............(hold your breath)......63%
b) A research done in a lawnmower company produced some astonishing results. Women accounted for 80% of high-margin riding lawnmower sales (so its not just nappy sales you see!)
c) Girls have been consistently outshining the guys aross examinations (be it our home turf: CBSE, or be it at a global level: GCSE). No wonder the instructor was explaining everything to me!
d) Women either influence or 'decide' 83% of all consumer purchases made by a household! (I would surely love to share this with the gym folks!)
e) I have heard this as a joke - while a man will straight head to what he wants to buy in a store, a women will end up gyrating, spiraling and zig-zagging her way through the store to buy what she came for, and in addition spends couple of extra grands! (well, as a marketer, who do you think has more 'real' spendable income, and therefore who should we target?) .

I dont know when will we, marketers, realise that women dont 'buy' brands. They join them. The experience today has really reinforced what I strongly believe in.
We are really taking an awful long time to understand the simple fact - 'Girls are the new boys'....

How do you spell HELL - Agarwal Packers and Movers

There are always these times when you wonder - "WTF was I thinking?" Let me tell you something, I have been asking this to myself every single day...ever since I have moved to Pune, or rather allow me to rephrase - ever since I hired Agarwal Packers to move our stuff from Delhi to Pune.

As if the prospects of traveling via road, the new job profile, experiencing life in a new city; werent exciting enough, I decided to spice up my life a little bit more... Much against the advice of my wife, I decided to finalise Agarwal Packers and Movers (DRS Group), as the professional services firm to help us relocate from Delhi to Pune.

In research we often ask consumers to 'surmise' in one word how their experience was. Well I can surmise it in one word - 'Horrible'. ...Want more - 'Disgusting / Excruciating / Terrible / Nightmarish...blah blah blah'.

This painful journey started with my interaction with this guy called 'Rajesh Gupta' who is based out of Delhi office of Agarwal Packers. A sales executive by profession, in his 'quintessential and pure' haryanvi he explained to me that I need to send him a list of all the stuff that we will be transporting and he will send a quote via email. True to his words (first and the last time!) the quote came in by the evening, on the day I spoke to him. Things went down the hill from thereon. Let me elucidate you point wise what happened:

a) Rajesh Gupta promised - All covered container. Rajesh Gupta delivered - An open truck!
b) Rajesh Gupta promised - Delivery of goods in 4 working days. Rajesh Gupta delivered - In 6 working days!
c) Rajesh Gupta promised - Foolproof delivery using corrugated material and poster tapes. Rajesh Gupta delivered - Cardboard and plastic boxes!
d) Rajesh Gupta promised - Delivery of all goods in one piece. Rajesh Gupta delivered - a broken TV!
...and this one takes the cake guys...
e) Rajesh Gupta promised - He will be the point of contact till the goods get delivered and he assured me of his best services in case there was any issue with regards to shipment delay or any other unforeseen contingency. Rajesh Gupta delivered - A white lie! As would happen with anyone who is concerned about the shipment delay and breakage, I called him up on his cell phone to explain the loss that I had to bear and to talk about way forward. That bugger had the audacity of asking her wife to lie about him and tell me that he has gone out of station! I asked my wife to call on his number again and pose as a prospective buyer, sure enough that bugger was on the phone again! And imagine the lame excuse he delivered on being caught - "he missed his train and thus came back home"! Ha ha ha.....what a joker!

The irony doesnt end here. Guess what... this organization is supposedly an ISO certified organization!

As I pen this blog down, the TV is still crippled, I have been following up with the Samsung folks and the DRS group folks, but ofcourse there has been no resolution. Even if there is a resolution and the crippled TV is put back in shape, all I know is that the entire experience has left a deep scar...and it will most definitely remain ingrained for a long time.

MORAL OF THE STORY / WORD OF CAUTION (not necessarily in that order) : a) Please DO NOT take services of Aggarwal Packers and Movers!
b) Listen to your wife's advice :)!