Extremely Interesting read! (not my creation :) courtesy: strategy-business.com)

This is a letter from a traditional management guru to one of his counterparts...read it :)

Dear Monte:
Forgive me for not getting back to you sooner.
But I’m sitting in a hotel conference room in Austin, Tex., punchy from PowerPoint, waaaay over- caffeinated, surrounded by click-monkeys in power suits (moi?) thumbing through their BlackBerrys checking e-mail.
The title of the conference, ironically enough, is “Always On: Executive Communication Strategies in the Age of Constant Connection."
And for the privilege of sponsoring all this executive insight (which I’m beginning to suspect might be better communicated by one guy wielding an over-cranked bullhorn), I’m paying $250k, which includes lunch, cocktails, and my own scintillating PowerPoint presentation this afternoon (which I may yet scrap for that bullhorn). I also get my logo on the program binder, the security-badge lanyard, the book bag, the luggage tags, the golf tees, the mouse pad, and all sorts of other totems and tchotchkes of executive overlordship.
I just love it when people haul out of these things looking like upscale NASCAR drivers.
In any event, I accidentally opened my spam folder, and for some reason that I can’t quite explain (although I’m sure my new IT kid can), I found your last e-mail nestled among the offers for Canadian drugs, replica Rolexes, satellite TV, Saddam Hussein’s gold, and 27 security warnings that my checking account had been breached from banks that I don’t do business with.
And this was before I checked my inbox again, now updated with 289 new missives, salutations, CCs, newsletters, updates, FYIs, and other minor emergencies during the past hour — not to mention 16 invitations to “join up” on LinkedIn.com.
Forgive the digression, Monte, but for the life of me, I’ve yet to see the personal value in any of these business networking sites — other than, perhaps, to know that I’m two degrees of separation from Good King Wenceslas, via our mutual “friend” Vlad the Impaler. Somehow, it all feels like digital name-dropping to me. Maybe I’m just a face-to-face guy in an “F2F” world. But for all the virtues of virtual networking, I’ve yet to notice a drop-off in the number of warm bodies at any of these conferences.
And the truth is, I’m overwhelmed by e-mail. I’m drowning in it. I wake up at 3 in the morning to check it. So I’m not surprised by the report in this morning’s New York Times about a survey finding that it’s made us all less productive.
What’s the solution, you ask? Disconnected Fridays? (Not if you want to stay in business.) Deleting everything? (Not unless you want to run afoul of the government’s new document retention laws.) No. Like it or not, I’m afraid that we really have become rhesus lab monkeys — forever clicking away on those buttons, hoping to be rewarded with a new piece of fruit.
Anyway, to answer your e-mail, sorry, but I can’t have lunch yesterday. As soon as this conference ends, I’ll call your office to reschedule.
I’ll be in touch —
The Biffster
PS: As I was typing away at this, a woman next to me looked over my shoulder and chuckled. Turns out she’s an old friend from college, currently a reporter for the Journal, interested in doing a story about you and AmSmelt. I say let’s go for it — so long as it’s face-to-face, and not by e-mail. Yr thoughts, pls.

When will the marketers understand???

Its been really bugging me now! I have been mulling over the imbecility I had to witness this morning, and every time I think about it... I feel like pulling my hair apart!

Here's the deal. My wife and myself have been wanting to join the gym and get back in 'shape'. Well to confess, my wife has been more committed to the cause than I have been.

This morning, we decided to check out the new gym which Jyotsana had discovered, searching through heaps of advertisements that come along with the main newspaper.

Let me paint a backdrop for you all before we start detailing:
a) As I had said, my wife has been more 'committed' than I have been with regards to starting this 'gymming thing' (so she was in a true sense an 'active consumer'. My exact choice of words when she mentioned about gym were - 'oh well, okay'!)
b) She is the one who searched through the newspaper and pull-outs to discover this new gym, while I was having fun playing the vicious cycle of office-home-office insulated around a 'couldnt-care-less' attitude
c) She has the buying power (enough and more of it!). She is not 'just the window shopper'
d) She is more 'loyal' in her behaviour towards brands than I have ever been in my entire life(I have got enough and more examples to showcase that)

With this backdrop, here is an account of what happened when we went to the gym this morning:
a) When we get to the gym and meet the instructor, he ignores her completely (as if she didnt exist!) and starts his gibberish aimed at educating (rather impressing) me (and I unfortuntately was anyways tuned off. I was totally disinterested and insulated around (remember... 'couldnt-care-less') attitude.)
b) The first part of the process was aimed at understanding our body types, our medical history and thus chalking out an exercise regime for 'both' of us. Here is ratio of time spent by the instructor on the first process for my wife and me. MY WIFE - 3 minutes!...hold on, the real sinker comes now..................... ME - 20 minutes! ('freakin'stein!....although she was clearly more interesting in knowing the procedure and had more 'questions' than I did)
c) After a while we were through with our first session for the day, throughout the session, while she was making an attempt to learn on her own, I got the attention of the floating coaches who would be more than willing to help me out in my workout. As always, she was relatively 'ignored' Just when we were placing ourselves in the car, I initiated the conversation asking her how she felt about the experience. The question was thrown back at me (as always:)!!) and my response was - 'disgusting'. Do you know what she said for the same question? 'I guess it was okay' (Marketers, do u read something here - "more margin for error". With everything going wrong for her, right from step 1, she was still willing to give those guys another chance!)

Bottomline: the real consumer was ignored, while the 'stereotype' ruled!

And I felt like shouting out loud and saying - 'WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR MARKETERS TO REALISE THAT WOMEN IS A HUGE UNTAPPED MARKET " (and much to my chagrin let me accept, far smarter than the male counterparts, when it comes to decision making on purchase / brands and sticking to the brands). And I will tell you why I have generalised this one experience to the entire 'women consumer community'. Let me present my case with facts:
a) Between 1970 to 1998 Men's median income has increased by 0.6%. The same for women has grown by ............(hold your breath)......63%
b) A research done in a lawnmower company produced some astonishing results. Women accounted for 80% of high-margin riding lawnmower sales (so its not just nappy sales you see!)
c) Girls have been consistently outshining the guys aross examinations (be it our home turf: CBSE, or be it at a global level: GCSE). No wonder the instructor was explaining everything to me!
d) Women either influence or 'decide' 83% of all consumer purchases made by a household! (I would surely love to share this with the gym folks!)
e) I have heard this as a joke - while a man will straight head to what he wants to buy in a store, a women will end up gyrating, spiraling and zig-zagging her way through the store to buy what she came for, and in addition spends couple of extra grands! (well, as a marketer, who do you think has more 'real' spendable income, and therefore who should we target?) .

I dont know when will we, marketers, realise that women dont 'buy' brands. They join them. The experience today has really reinforced what I strongly believe in.
We are really taking an awful long time to understand the simple fact - 'Girls are the new boys'....

How do you spell HELL - Agarwal Packers and Movers

There are always these times when you wonder - "WTF was I thinking?" Let me tell you something, I have been asking this to myself every single day...ever since I have moved to Pune, or rather allow me to rephrase - ever since I hired Agarwal Packers to move our stuff from Delhi to Pune.

As if the prospects of traveling via road, the new job profile, experiencing life in a new city; werent exciting enough, I decided to spice up my life a little bit more... Much against the advice of my wife, I decided to finalise Agarwal Packers and Movers (DRS Group), as the professional services firm to help us relocate from Delhi to Pune.

In research we often ask consumers to 'surmise' in one word how their experience was. Well I can surmise it in one word - 'Horrible'. ...Want more - 'Disgusting / Excruciating / Terrible / Nightmarish...blah blah blah'.

This painful journey started with my interaction with this guy called 'Rajesh Gupta' who is based out of Delhi office of Agarwal Packers. A sales executive by profession, in his 'quintessential and pure' haryanvi he explained to me that I need to send him a list of all the stuff that we will be transporting and he will send a quote via email. True to his words (first and the last time!) the quote came in by the evening, on the day I spoke to him. Things went down the hill from thereon. Let me elucidate you point wise what happened:

a) Rajesh Gupta promised - All covered container. Rajesh Gupta delivered - An open truck!
b) Rajesh Gupta promised - Delivery of goods in 4 working days. Rajesh Gupta delivered - In 6 working days!
c) Rajesh Gupta promised - Foolproof delivery using corrugated material and poster tapes. Rajesh Gupta delivered - Cardboard and plastic boxes!
d) Rajesh Gupta promised - Delivery of all goods in one piece. Rajesh Gupta delivered - a broken TV!
...and this one takes the cake guys...
e) Rajesh Gupta promised - He will be the point of contact till the goods get delivered and he assured me of his best services in case there was any issue with regards to shipment delay or any other unforeseen contingency. Rajesh Gupta delivered - A white lie! As would happen with anyone who is concerned about the shipment delay and breakage, I called him up on his cell phone to explain the loss that I had to bear and to talk about way forward. That bugger had the audacity of asking her wife to lie about him and tell me that he has gone out of station! I asked my wife to call on his number again and pose as a prospective buyer, sure enough that bugger was on the phone again! And imagine the lame excuse he delivered on being caught - "he missed his train and thus came back home"! Ha ha ha.....what a joker!

The irony doesnt end here. Guess what... this organization is supposedly an ISO certified organization!

As I pen this blog down, the TV is still crippled, I have been following up with the Samsung folks and the DRS group folks, but ofcourse there has been no resolution. Even if there is a resolution and the crippled TV is put back in shape, all I know is that the entire experience has left a deep scar...and it will most definitely remain ingrained for a long time.

MORAL OF THE STORY / WORD OF CAUTION (not necessarily in that order) : a) Please DO NOT take services of Aggarwal Packers and Movers!
b) Listen to your wife's advice :)!

From MICA to 'chocolate khakra':)..........(part 1)


Although I have used the word nostalgia often in my conversations, I never knew how one felt, when the ‘true moment of nostalgia’ over powers the emotional turf .

But I got a taste of this overwhelming feeling….over this weekend.

I had the good fortune of visiting my institute over this weekend. (MICA, known as Mudra Institute of Communications, Ahmedabad, and few uninitiated call it – Mudra Institute of Communications and ‘Advertising’ ...and the auto drivers in Ahmedabad call is ‘MIKO’)

MICA is arguably India's best institute for marketing professionals. Aspirants with brand and blood running interchangeably, through in and throughout, are the fortunate few to join the elite club of MICAns. Anyways will spare you of the self tom-toming brigade that I belong to:) and cut straight to the chase!

I was invited to MICA over this weekend, to lecture the second year students, pursuing their post-graduate diplomas in communications management.

With less than 5 years of experience under the belt, I was of-course ecstatic to receive this invitation. It’s an honour to go back to the institute that built me to what I am today. And in capacity of a faculty was even more enthralling

The initial excitement and euphoria surrounding the invite was soon replaced by mind boggling and never-ending string of questions that pose before me. How do I make the presentation? What and How should I cover the topics? Should I have more theory, more exercises, more case studies..what?

Finally many coffee cups and agonizing hours later, when caffeine started replacing blood in my veins, and Kurt Gobain and myself started talking … as we both levitated…I was able to get a fix on the presentation. A neat 25 slider powerpoint which I thought was packed with ‘power’ and ‘point’.

So, the professor and his ‘better half’ (actually my wife’s choice of semantics were a little different, call her up and ask how had she designated herself) set out for the journey.

At the risk of making it sound like a ‘plug’, I want to make a mention of ‘SpiceJet’. While the so called ‘full service carrier’ were delivering their full ‘lip service’, Spice Jet was the only carrier which was on time. So the two of us made an ‘auspicious start’, by departing from the Delhi Airport (on time), and arriving at the Ahmedabad airport (before time).

Ahmed Bhai (institute’s driver) had me and my wife in splits when he mentioned that he still remembers me from my 'haircut'. Clarification: I have a normal haircut, as is visible in my profile pic, but for some strange reason, Ahmed Bhai thought my hair were the most noticeable feature of my aesthetic appearance:)

My heartbeat raced as the gates of MICA were opened for us. The sprawling lush green campus opened its arms for us, and the unruffled zephyr brought along sweet memories that I had cherished. I almost stood there for a moment… entranced and entrenched. Finally Thakurjis' (Head of security at Campus) thunderous voice dazed me out of my stupor. As he hugged me and blessed me...my lungs filled with pride I declared to Jyotsana (read: better half) – ‘This is MY campus’.

CITI never sleeps!

For all those who are thinking that this scribble is a plug for Citibank...I have one word for you all - Gotcha!

Banks are an inseparable part of our lives. More so if you are working. I have two continuing relationships - ABN AMRO and Citibank. While the experience with AMRO has been simple ecstatic, the experience with Citibank could be at best described as - HORRENDOUS!

Allow me to paint a backdrop of how and why I got into a relationship with Citibank.

Job change - new company - Citibank being the corporate bank - had to take an account with them (talk about anarchy in the days of democracy!)

They say that the first step in any relationship sets the foundation. Well for me, the experience couldn't start on a more 'bitter note'. At the risk of sounding like a nagging teenager I must confess that its been a 'pandora's box relationship' with Citibank. Here are some issues enlisted for starters:-

a) wrong name on the debit card (never thought my name could be spelt in such an amazing way!)
b) wrong address in the database (actually, the address is non-existent in Delhi)
c) my ATM pin did work (to help my nephew solve a sudoku puzzle!)
d) My online entity was still in gestation period

Its been more than a year now in my new job...despite my repeated pleas (request - implore), much to my chagrin, none of the aforementioned issues have been ironed out. Forget about the 'solutions', the responses over telephone and my in-person conversations make me wonder if they are bestowing my life by allowing me, a lesser mortal, to have an account with them!

All in all, here is the throughput:
My expected duration of this relationship - as long as I am in this job.
Will I recommend this bank to anyone - Hell NO!.
Will I service any of my financial requirements through them - You must be kidding right?

The whole experience taught me something. It taught me the implication of 'butterfly effect' on brands. Millions and millions spent on building the brand image.....spent on building - 'citi never sleeps' positioning.

At the risk of exaggerating, I totally agree - Citi never sleeps....and neither does it let the customer sleep...

Can you sell ice to the eskimo?

Rant 1# Aptitude vs Attitude vs knowledge

Having conviction in what you sell often pays off:) (actually its imperative...you cant convince anyone of anything unless you yourself believe in it..with all your heart, soul and mind). Product knowledge is a must. You need not know the product DNA but if you know 'what' it delivers and 'how', that should suffice.

Rant 2 # Mindset game

The battle is on the 6 inch mindspace. The clients will always look at the 'price', while you need to make them see 'value'. Easier said than done...being precise often helps. Dont be a storyteller...clients can have more to tell...'delivering' what was promised often helps :) sounds basic, but do we really do it?:)

Rant 3# Ownership

Client is not 'yours'. There has to be a 'joint ownership'. The product, the servicing, the operations, the billings everyone needs to 'own' the client. You cant deliver 'magic' at all touchpoints. But you need to deliver 'magic' at 'all touchpoints'...bottomline: everyone needs to take the ownership and ensure that the client is 'ecstatic'

Rant 4# Relationship vs bottomline

'Drive bottomline, dont get driven by it. Get driven by relationships, dont drive it'

Rant 5# Can you?

You cant be 'Bradman' and 'Warne' at the same time. Think through carefully...only you know yourself the best. Jump into sales ONLY if you have the 'passion' for it. Needless to say, there should be a fair flair for selling. The job will bring along immense pressures of managing and growing bottomline and topline. Clients shoving up...and screaming down...
The best way is to imagine all the negatives of the job, just before you tuck yourself in bed; and envision yourself going through it day in and day out. If you wake up next morning feeling fresh than ever...well go for it!

The game is changing...

As usual while taking care of the mundane requirements at my place of work, still recovering from the shock of having spent a 'working weekend':), a chain of thought just flashed past by.

The rules of the game are changing...

I was thinking of some of the big ticket items, that have proverbial - 'revolutionized the internet'. Some egs - twitter, friendfeed, facebook, plazes etc. And am sure the list is endless, but I belong to the category of consumers who are less initiated..:)

Anyways, pulling ourselves back to the track and talking about these big-ticket items. Lets call them - 'experiences' (as a non-techie consumer, my choice of semantics would be different, so beg your pardon in advance). These are 'disruptive innovations' brought about by inventors, innovators, entrepreneurs or pure enthusiasts who want to fight. These are one hell of crazy zealots (reminding me of king Leonidas and his army of 300), the son-of-guns who are always 'thinking'. These are human-catalysts, who are changing the 'rules of the game'

What surprises me is that changing the rules has always been a prerogative of the strongest! Be it life or business. Traditional marketing always witnessed a larger player changing the rules of the game and thereby exploiting / expanding the category - be it the 'chota pepsi' or 'cadbury's re-positioning itself as a sweet for celebrations', or the most recent TATA Nano.

But this doesnt seem to be happening (that often) in the world less explored (the world of internet!) . Most often than not, these 'experiences' are being delivered by the lesser known players! It seems that the larger players are either finding it difficult to keep up the pace with the smaller (but agile) players, or they have re-aligned their mindsets for 'inorganic growth'. Either case there is a transfer of creative power from the giants of the internet to the new saplings.

The jury is still out on whether this strategy is right or wrong. Logically I would want to assume that the large scale players have the strategic advantage of more resources, more experience and more artillery (reminds me of Sun Tzu), but because they might not be 'concentrating' on 'experience', they might be losing out on a big chunk of 'organic' growth. They are of course still large players in the 'game', but the game itself might be changing....

Get on board the 'inflation' train!

Bottomline - people who intellectualize about 'inflation' don't feel the pinch as hard as people who are actually on the receiving end of it...

So we have finally broken the double digit barrier after 13 years! (triskaidekaphobia: ring ring!)

What does it mean for you and me! Not sure, haven't awakened the economist inside of me...dont even want to, all I know is that while there are the colors of rainbow that we are celebrating (India shining, India leading, India poised....whatever!), but at the risk of exposing our puerile minds, we are being delightfully oblivious to the acidic downpour!

As Indians' we have the tendency to 'crib', be it the BRT corridor, be it inflation, be it rise in LPG cylinder....but do we make tough decisions to improve and fight back (fight back not 'Bainsla style')? I wonder how many of us do car-pooling (I am the culprit, my lazy bones dont allow me to commute from point A to B and then pool with friends to office), I wonder how many of us want to change our eating habits and eat less of 'overnight cooked lentils' (Bukharas' claim to fame), how many of us want to follow rules and exercise patience while commuting on BRT? How many of us wants to take the signals of growth in positive stride and move forward...

As a process of evolution, growth always brings along short-term inconveniences, the choice we have to make is to either 'crib about those inconveniences' or work towards enjoying the process of becoming a global superpower - both in terms of numbers, as well as in terms of mindsets....

Think about it....

Something that I swear by, day-in and day-out:


"If you dont know where you are going, any road will get you there"......

SHOOT HIM!...he is my customer:)!

Traditional marketing classrooms taught marketers to look at the demographic profile of customers for segmentation.

Hands of the clock moved and next level of talks were on 'psychographic segmentation' (putting it simplistically – segment a consumer basis how he ‘thinks’)

With the web technology moving faster than the chain of thought, corridor conversations in business organizations now-a-days, are around - 'behavioural segmentation'. Which is segment a consumer basis how he/she ‘behaves’ on your portal/website etc

A recent report by Compete Survey (content courtesy: emarketer.com) elucidates only 39% of US marketers believing in segment-driven marketing although a full 84% indicate that it will be more important three years from now. (I must confess, Americans never fail to surprise me :))!

The survey also stated that 77% of marketers are having problems demonstrating the positive impact of behavioural segmentation on business performance indicators.

The report has rightly identified one of the essentials of effective behavioural segmentation - identification of ‘right’ segments. But they miss out on another important point. Organizations’ ability to decode the message that is going out to the consumers.

Its like saying - opportunityisnowhere (one can either read it as 'opportunity is now here’, or, ‘opportunity is nowhere’). I believe its very important for organizations to be completely aware of what they are saying and how it can be deciphered. These messages are the first step to intended actions, and therefore its critical for companies to get it right the ‘first time’ itself!

A quick bouncing off the message to folks in the circle (friends / family etc) usually does the trick of understanding how the message is being comprehended (in case the companies cant afford spending on traditional market testings).

Behavioural marketing is here to stay. Its about time for organizations to realize that it will just become an effective reality in times to come. The sooner they can identify way to leverage it, the better it will be. Else…those companies / brands can soon become ‘history’, instead of creating it:)

We made McDonald's Change their menu...

A hard-core marketer and brand guy at heart (and a marketing research consultant by profession) my first reaction to any change in 'technology' is to look at it from Indian consumers' perspective. So here I am, after a long time... with a brief article on internet and consumerism on internet.

Disclaimer: I credit my understandings / mis-understandings to my own observations, on life, on consumers and on brands. I am really not driven by 'data'. So, you wont find numbers frequently in my posts:)

A lot has been said about Indian consumer, while comparing it with its western counterpart. Marketing gurus have often referred to them as 'price / value conscious consumers'. The most difficult consumer to appease in the world - perhaps that is the reason why McDonald's was forced to change their menu upon arrival ! Star TV was forced to develop content adapting to local palette (sun sets on Baywatch and rises on 'K' girl). FM was initiated to adapt to local music (remember Delhiites, the good old 102.6 fm? do you remember it anymore?)Newspapers were persuaded to adapt to local content.....The key word here is 'localization'

I might draw a flak from the internet puritans when I say that Internet is by far still a virgin territory in terms of exploiting 'local content creation and delivery'. How many websites offer vernacular link? How many websites allow seamless transition to local searches and local content? 'Food' for thought - how many north indians love idli-dosa and how many south indians love butter chicken? Is it therefore advisable to give them both on the same plate?

Bottomline: While I do see a lot of startups mushrooming from the subcontinent (and it is indeed heartening to witness that), I wonder if they pause to ponder - 'We made McDonald’s change their menu'....

Last mile.......

It is said that the first step / mile is the most difficult one to cover, while I can say the same about the last step / mile as well....

As the business management professional inside of me awakens, am compelled to think...all the marketing lessons (literal or otherwise) have always taught us to ensure that the first 'touch-point' experience is the one that matters the most. One must concentrate energies to deliver an awesome first experience..how about the aftertaste of a brand promise?

Take a walk down the memory lane with me - amazing hotel, great food, awesome presentation of the fod, good music, lovely ambience...super fast billing...and then the wintery chill of Delhi shackles your backbone from beneath as you wait endlessly for your car to arrive from the parking lot....

situation 2 - you call the water purifiers to install the machine in your house, they explain you everything to the tee, they are well mannered, not smelling (believe you me, came across as strong driver of consumer experience in one of the researches are i did in my previous organization), they heard you well.....but when they left your kitchen was a mess!

situation 3 - installing broadband connection at your home - best plan suggested- fast speed - well mannered - and just when you are about to work on the computer, a pin bites into your flesh (carelessly left there by the installation enginner)

bottomline - while you may never get a second chance to make your first impression, what stays with the consumer is always the 'last experience' he had...that can make or break your brand preference scores

Think about it!

.........

Decided not to name this post. Decided that at times God can be really cruel. Decided that things usually dont fall in place when you want them too. Decided the fury of nature can be man's undoing. Decided that losing someone.....is not easy. Decided that this post is dedicated to my friend - Kkevil Shah

Still remember my first interaction with him. Sweet, polite, humble and very very down to earth person. Came across with an infectious smile. Who would have known that a tragic mid-air collision will seal the fate for him. A tragic mid-air collision will snatch away from a father - his only son. A tragic mid-air collision will snatch away from a sister - her only brother. A tragic mid-air collision - will snatch a person of his dreams....dreams to finally 'live life'. Tragic indeed. But what is very distressing is that this hale and hearty chap full of life could have been saved. He would have been recuperating in the hospital as i write this down. He could have lived his life. He could have......

Its been almost a month now that Kkevil left us mortals in search of his heavenly abode. But he leaves behind dried tears, angst and many unanswered questions. Beginning the list below

a) why was there no emergency kit at the flying club where he used to go paragliding?
b) Why did the ambulance (which apparently as per the medical protocols, should be always full on gas) run out of gas half way through?
c) why was there no instructor and communication equipment installed to avoid collision amongst paragliders?
d) why has there been no response from the authorities post this adversity (someone has lost his life...what more could be a price anyone can pay)

I used to belv in - 'it never rains, it always pours', but never knew that the forces of nature could make us mortals feel so helpless, when it actually starts 'pouring'. Whatever could go wrong that day -did.

I know I can never empathise with the family, for it was not my blood that I lost. But I do know it must be really painful for them. Albeit time is a healer, oblivion wont come easily.

I just hope and pray that no one loses their near or dear one, the way kkevil's family lost him. And I seriously hope the authorities realise that they havent killed one person, they have uprooted an entire family. Any act of shoving this disaster down the carpet would be most hideous, in-human and unsavoury.

May god be with Kkevils family and may his soul rest in peace. Amen.

D-N-C

The court of law finally put an end to the 'peeves' of many by allowing consumers , who are registered in the DO NOT CALL list, to file against the service provider if they recvd any marketing / promotional message (intrusive marketing?!)

but the more important question is - all those who are still not part of the DNC list (might be because of technical incompetence or plain lethargy, case in point 'your's truly') why are they being sent these intrusive messages? have the marketing geniuses behind this done any cost-benefit analysis? If you torture the numbers, they will tell you the story you want...but intuitively, does it make sense ..... how productive / effective the idea of bombarding cell phones with marketing messages is?......

MOBILE MANIA OF THE NEXT LEVEL...


Came across an interesting story in the Economic Times today (14th Nov, 2007). The writer was crystal-ball gazing on the state of mobile telephony in India and juxtaposing it alongside the technology of mobile television.

While the facts portend a positive story on the mobile landscape in India, it might be worth a dime to look at the new service from a consumer perspective.

As much as the media landscape is changing and people are moving into the domain of dynamic media consumption (media consumption while they are on-the-move). There are certain inherent need drivers:-

a) Quick and fast - the media (especially the new media) should be available quick and fast. When was the last time you spent more than 30 seconds waiting for a video to buffer in youtube? :)

b) Cost - value equation - Stressing a point which I hold very close to my heart, over my experience in research and marketing, I have very clearly been able to see that Indian consumer has moved from being a 'cost-conscious' consumer to a 'value-driven' consumer. As much as we would like to offer a million value-added services to Indian consumer, he will only embrace the ones he thinks will add value to his consumption. Thus, content on a mobile TV becomes extremely important in relation with the charges for it being offered as a service

c) Mobile cost - although the cost of owning a cell phone in India is the cheapest worldwide, when one is talking of mobile TV as an application, the rules change! No one would want to stress vision on a tiny 3" screen of a normal cell phone. Innovative freebies like magnifying lenses (for an individual viewer) might add to the value equation while keeping the price of instrument under control. But its something that the phone developers must think about Not many people in India can afford the Nokia N91.....

d) Technology - India is still finding it difficult to embrace CDMA (considered to be a poor man's technology). 3G is a far cry still!. It will therefore be very important to comprehend and deliver the mobile TV services on a right technology platform. It will have to be a technology which has the right 'image' and right 'cost' attached to it:)

e) Law of land - Law being above the king and subjects has been the jokers' cry for years. But it becomes very important from India's perspective. Especially given the fact that there have been some corners of the power corridors who have been crying to control the content on the net. There will be definite shouts to control the mobile TV content as well.

As much as I would like to invite and transact with new technology, let me profess that I get into a relationship with a brand only if I 'completely understand' what the brand has to offer to me. So, from a brand promise / communication perspective, it might be worthwhile to think of what would be the right 'communication' of the service to flow in to the customer, and how to translate that into a rational as well as emotional benefit statement. In a country like India, which is a melting pot of diverse consumers.....it is a question which is worth million dollars......

One spoon please.....!:)

Allow me to also share with you some interesting facts (well.... interesting yet grim!). It has been projected that 300 million individuals would be affected with diabetes by the year 2025. In India it is estimated that presently 19.4 million individuals are affected by this deadly disease, which is likely to go up to 57.2 million by the year 2025 (ironically, is the year when India is projected to be at the acme of the world) . Also, people with diabetes are 25 times more likely to develop blindness, 17 times more likely to develop kidney disease, 30-40 times more likely to undergo amputation, two to four times more likely to develop myocardial infarction and twice as likely to suffer a stroke than non-diabetics.

Dovetail the data as mentioned above with 75% of Indian women being obese and 58% of Indian men being obese (courtesy: http://www.obeseliving.com/obesity-rates-in-India-getting-higher), and you have the proverbial 'bulge-in-population'..............well of a different sort!

The diseases of far-west which were part of tales for an Indian, are now becoming effective realities. A lot of Indians are falling prey to these 'medical medusas'. I think going forward we all have to be consciously aware of what goes inside of our abdomen.....also urge you all to make exercise as an inseparable part of your daily regimen...while abdication of sweet is indispensable, exercising will build stamina and immunity in the body

So the next time you dig you teeth into the very sinful temptations of sweets, think about the figures again......

Dig this!

Booming economy, econonmic engines firing all cylinders, rupee strongest against dollar, GDP of over $ 600 billion, the second fastest growing nation in the world (GDP real growth) .... blah blah!!..how about some ground realities....

- 25% of our population lives on income levels of 360$ per annum (translation = one dollar / day, Rs 50 per day to survive... More translation: dont read percentages....then see the data 25% of over 1 billion...is below poverty line)

- literacy levels in some of the states well below 50% (case in point - Bihar)

- Chandigarh which boasts of highest per capita income has the lowest sex ratio (need I say more......gender issue still prevails i guess..)

- we add 2,00,000 engineers to our population every year (do all of them get jobs??)

- Manufacturing still consitute only around 17% of the GDP (investment commission data), but has the highest employability ratio...and our competitors are learning English faster than the speed of light (impending doom!)...

there is a lot more data which portends a different story, but will save all of you from that...

bottomline:

I know that one man's ceiling is another man's floor, but there seems to be crowd gathering .....staring at the ceiling.....my only fear...driven by famished bellies and pseudo-secularists, the crowd or mob of masses as i would coin it, should not become our cassandras....we should not end up fighting another monster from within...
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WAT ...er....!!!

At times life brings you to such cross roads wherein you are left with an 'either' 'or' option, for the sake of those who are enlightened with ignorance, allow me to share it with you all, that I have been having high viral fever coupled with bad cold (running nose and cough). As erudited and learned as I think I am, I thought of going in for the latest buzz, or if I may use the term appropriately - Naturopathy! After much discussions and some animated conversations with my kith and kin, I finally settled down for a practitioner who lives close by (but charges a bomb!). Finally the D-day arrived and with bated breath I managed to reach his clinic, and waited for my rendezvous with an impending doom (you will realise why this choice of words!)

My turn came and I went inside his cabin. After examining me from head to toe, he said in his husky voice - "Kya problem hai"? I meekly replied - "High fever and cold". At times we expect too much out of life and may be it was that moment in my life when I was expecting some words of consolation....some words of comfort....but PAT came the reply..."Thats the problem with you young kids" (although I must say I was elated to hear the word 'young', felt almost like my age getting reduced by a decade), anyways...and he went on..."Late night parties, booz, junk food. Do you see the repercussions??!!". I so wanted to retort and cry out loud that I dont drink, I dont eat junk food....and the last time I partied was when I had hair on my head..all of them...;) but the guy was too fast, before I could respond, he was at it again..he suggested me to have glasses of hot boiling water........and....thats it!....yeah you read it right...that was the only thing he said....(still cant believe he charged me 1000 bucks for that!)

However as confident as I think I am and overflowing with the misconception that I have a good sense of humor. With a sheepish grin on my face I tried pulling a faster one and asked the medical expert - "Can I also add tea leaves, cardamom seeds, milk and sugar in the glass of boiling water, and then drink the concoction".

I was rather loud in the clinic and much to my dismay and chagrin, the doctor did not appreciate my sense of humour. He did stop writing for a while, and glanced at me . At that point in time, the controted and twisted face of his, kind of reminded me of Calvin having his supper (and Hobbes being no wherein the picture!)....so guess you all get the point... but he did not!

Apparently he was joined in by his other patients who were waiting for their turn to come, because as I stepped out of his cabin, I witnessed some dozen fiery gaze literally tearing me apart and making me feel as if I am a convict of a felony against God and instead of Afzal I should be hanged!

So as a lesser mortal I stand here, with a face red swollen from the slaps of social stigma inflicted upon me, any ideas on how can I absolve myself from the 'crime' that i have committed?:)

and by the way....although I have been drinking glasses of boiling water...the only thing that has shown improvement is my marginal propensity to visit the washroom to experience the ultimate delight of "giving"...

Honk! Honk!

Request you to hold on to your horses of imagination running in all directions and giving you 'leading' indications of what these two words might connote, and allow me to instead unmask my intentions behind their use.

Any Delhiite going through this string would realise am talking of the iron-clad, fire spitting, raging monsters built by the likes of Honda San, Mitsubishi San, and the indigenous TATAs Salamat. For people who want to test their mettle and consider themselves 'nuts' who can withstand the atmospheric pressures (which although happen to be 1/1000th the pressures of 'client deadlines'), should try commuting from one corner of Delhi to another at 9 in the morning or 6 in the evening.

Driving the vicious cycle of Office-Home-Office, everyday I have my rendezvous with the DTC (Direct Terror Control) Buses and the Saloon and Sedans of the world. However this one is a little different from the Simi Farewal show, this one reminds me of the forces of Saruman. I get into a whole different world wherein I am Mr Frodo, trying to save 'My Precious' (Maruti 800) from bumping into the much more suave, rugged, sturdy, powerful and 'educated' demons belonging to the Indian Govt and otherwise. My poor 'Precious' often travels more like a peasant who has forgotten to pay his due of land to the zameendar, getting flaked left, right and center, with abuses being hurled upon her from every thinkable corner. However this is not a forum to discuss those trivial issues and we should rather those bitter moments rest in oblivion. But my own theory of the honking says - Eureka!

It seems that cars on the road have given a whole new meaning and beginning to the linguistic sciences. Am sure I will make Shakespeare turn in his grave when I say that we might be on to something! The rich brats (or the rug rats, I prefer the latter!) are developing a new language just by mere pressing of or (in case of electronic cars) twiddle of their thumbs. My research which had a literary component (unearthing the meaning of the words of wisdom that I have seen flowing out of the mouths of the great drivers) and an observational component (reactions and sometimes ACTIONS of the people who were addressed with those words of wisdom), has helped me decipher the meaning of the 'honks'. For the benefit of the lesser mortals like me, I am presenting a glimpse of the same below...:-)

One Honk = "How youuuu doin..;)". Two honks = "Dont test my patience"...Three honks = "get off the road you dimwit!!"...Four honks = "You are stepping on my last nerve!"...Five honks = "My hands..your neck!..fair trade"....Six honks = "Death is my best friend...and I want you to meet him"....Seven Honks = "Give way to the ayatollah of the rock 'n' rolla". Eight honks = "Hang until die". Nine Honks = "I pay more TAXXXXX.....so GET OFF THE ROAD".....Never ending string of Honks = "Nature call (ing). Give way"...

Kudos to the kings of the swing who have put Delhi on an international pedestal! (I am sure the great leaders and thinkers must be feeling ashamed of their achievements which has been dwarfed by the new light of knowledge bestowed upon us). Already some scientists are researching and finding out the possibilities of adding dimensions of "Duration" (elongated horn) and "Grammar" (short, cogent horns) to this language. Are we all not glad to be alive...!:)

Infact the last I heard from the media was that Cambridge and Harvard press are planning to include = "the 6 pm honks" and "the 9 am rush" as metaphors right next to "the seven year itch"..:-).

Days are not far when brigade of mums will enroll their kids, in special schools (Don Honkos, Honko Convent etc) to learn the new language. No longer can someone "blow his own trumpet"...Passe. "Blow your horn" - In Vogue..

The barriers of communication will give way to the new language of blowing car horns, we wil be united as a truly global village. The chinese, the Japanese, the Italianos, The Bangla...we would be able to understand everyone, and finally they would be able to understand us!:) (with the exception of the US ofcourse). The final outcome would be what Mr Bush has been trumpeting (sorry honking) about = WORLD PEACE!:)

So the next time you want a better appraisal, or you are having problems getting along with your girl friends father, or you just feel like "communicating" the way our great parliamentarians do, please sit behind the wheel and make use of the language!

I wonder how we can ever thank and express our gratutitude to those innumerable rich brats (rug rats), who have self-lessly given all of us a whole new meaning to live. How eagerly I look forward to every morning in my life...only my life can tell...:)

For all those who liked my thoughts = Hank you!...for all those who dint - Honk you!..:-)

Hello Hello.....is there anybody in there.......:)

Okay you ought to give me the leeway since this is the first time i am scribbling and penning down my thoughts and having realised my competencies, I surely know that writing doesnt come to me that naturally...anyways, i think the weather is a little sombre, we the lesser mortals leading a life consumed by slow decay were blessed with much needed showers...the Almighty up above decided to bestow upon us with something to cheer about...but the vicious circle of life persuades me to search light at the end of the tunnel in half despair, and half apathy...

But well, as always, a little confused and a little more confounded than I usually am....and at the time when the clock gongs 11..I am thinking about my life in general...suffering from a disease that is incurable - "shortano attentiono Spania", you will often find me hopping from one thought to another, not being particularly decisive about any...well as a democratic citizen of a secular state (ha ha ha...i know you all are laughing), I leave my anecdotal or at times apocryphal boring string of words interwoven into some ridiculous form open to interpretations...:)

its kind of funny how one or two transactions that life has with u, can change the outlook and approach...most often life brings you to a cross road wherein the decision has to be made in terms of 'either' or 'or'..I in particular have never favoured this catastrophic approach of elimination, for that never comes naturally to me...

my soul is going through the same conundrum, unfortunately Life has chosen her to be the special person to go through the litmus test..and being one of the few who are cursed with a good heart (yeah u read me right, in todays times, a good heart is actually a curse)..:) she is finding it rather difficult to make the 'either' or choice...

you know its a little perplexing to think about the situations that life throws on us, especially the cases wherein you are prisoner of your past and you find it difficult to unshackle or break away from the same...at the same time life helps you dream of the 'ideal' future wherein at a later stage when things turn into effective realities, you realise that your dream was as truthful as a mirage...

may be there are some questions which are still unanswered, there is a lot of nebulity that surrounds the life at the moment....someone who i want to be with, wants to be with someone...and someone who I dont want to be with, doesnt want to be with someone...if the words were not enough to take you deep into a never ending trench of confusions, how about an unthinkable prophecy which has been consuming me slowly as the time passes by...

law of the land suggests you to never impugn the gospel, which in my case happens to be someones' unconditional love for someone who might not want to spend the rest of her life with the 'someone'...at times God also has unconventional harbingers who unveil themselves in the form of excrucianingly tough puzzles, and missing links.....

well reminiscence of the sweet lullaby and the sweet memories of childhood, pink floyds comfortably numb in the background exhorting me to learn from the signs, are they trying to tell me something..its a 'question mark'..?:)